an endnote at the end of the year
Wishing you all a very prosperous and joyous 2017!

Whatever happened in 2016, I want you to take it as a lesson and became a better person in the next year. Never give in to your fear. You can and you will do great. Never underestimate yourself because being able to be this far is also a triumph. Say yes to opportunities and don't let anything hinder you from your goal. You are a motherfucking divine sorceress of light. This world is your universe. Go out, explore, create, do things, settle for no less. Inspire and be inspired. Know your worth. Pass nothing but goodness and kindness. Love, love, love.

Let's have an amazing year together. We got this :)


See You in 2017!

12/30/2016

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an endnote at the end of the year
Wishing you all a very prosperous and joyous 2017!

Whatever happened in 2016, I want you to take it as a lesson and became a better person in the next year. Never give in to your fear. You can and you will do great. Never underestimate yourself because being able to be this far is also a triumph. Say yes to opportunities and don't let anything hinder you from your goal. You are a motherfucking divine sorceress of light. This world is your universe. Go out, explore, create, do things, settle for no less. Inspire and be inspired. Know your worth. Pass nothing but goodness and kindness. Love, love, love.

Let's have an amazing year together. We got this :)




This post was supposed to be up on Thanksgiving but I figured it's never too late to be grateful on things, right? Although 2016 is definitely a shitfest of a year, there are definitely stuffs I'd like to say thanks to. Here's some.

A Thank You Note

12/23/2016

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This post was supposed to be up on Thanksgiving but I figured it's never too late to be grateful on things, right? Although 2016 is definitely a shitfest of a year, there are definitely stuffs I'd like to say thanks to. Here's some.



November was not a good month in particular. Too many downs. I'll spare you the detail so this recap would be mainly about photos. Also I believe I just lured you all with a cat photo. Sorry for that. But in other note, isn't it so cute? It came to me out of the blue while I was waiting for the bus, curling near my feet. I was so tempted to take it home! But in the end I backed out. Don't ask me about the regret. Ugh

Not So Sweet November

12/06/2016

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November was not a good month in particular. Too many downs. I'll spare you the detail so this recap would be mainly about photos. Also I believe I just lured you all with a cat photo. Sorry for that. But in other note, isn't it so cute? It came to me out of the blue while I was waiting for the bus, curling near my feet. I was so tempted to take it home! But in the end I backed out. Don't ask me about the regret. Ugh

Photo by Ian Schneider taken from Unsplash.com

A reminder for you to pause, breathe, and remember all the (not-so) simple things
Please read with a light heart and a cup of coffee
I love to answer stuff in Quora. Basically, a place where all the civilized, smart people live, without the dirty anonymous stuff (glaring at you, Ask.FM and CuriousCat).

A question I answered a while ago was, What are things that you don't know how to do that most people know?

Some answered lightly. Ranging from the inability to follow direction to disorientation and to tie a tie and using the chopstick. My answer?

How to make friends and keeping them.

Simple Things: On Friendship

11/22/2016

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Photo by Ian Schneider taken from Unsplash.com

A reminder for you to pause, breathe, and remember all the (not-so) simple things
Please read with a light heart and a cup of coffee
I love to answer stuff in Quora. Basically, a place where all the civilized, smart people live, without the dirty anonymous stuff (glaring at you, Ask.FM and CuriousCat).

A question I answered a while ago was, What are things that you don't know how to do that most people know?

Some answered lightly. Ranging from the inability to follow direction to disorientation and to tie a tie and using the chopstick. My answer?

How to make friends and keeping them.


Believe it or not, I have at least 10 drafted posts in the dashboard, waiting to be published. I don't know if it's because of whatever happened nowadays, but I kept having this urge to post something lighter. It's lovely to see such, don't you think? So here you go, my current home screen and lock screen. My current phone is LG Stylus 2.

L O C K S C R E E N ; It's Jane's photo from this post! It's so good I know I just have to save and use it as my lock screen. I find that using photos of sea or beach make me feel calm instantly so I use those photos a lot. The bluer the wallpaper is, the calmer I feel.

H O M E S C R E E N ; I changed my home screen wallpaper a lot just like I change my blog's layout. In a week, I could change my wallpaper everyday. Currently it's this photo of Wendy and Joy of Red Velvet taken in Pepero Day (November 11th). It just look so cute I have to change my previous wallpaper. Somehow it fits the holiday mood, isn't it? Somewhat festive and rather Christmas-y. I feel warm just by looking at it. There's also weather widget in which I use more for the clock and 360 Security Lite booster to speed up my phone.

My to-go source for wallpaper is LINE Deco. It has good wallpaper photos from everywhere, anything you want, with size that fits your screen. It also has many widgets if you're into customizing your own phone. I like it. Other than that, I usually use wallpapers from everywhere. Blogs, sites, comics, or snaps from my daily life.

Consider yourself tagged. What's your current home screen and lock screen? Please do it in your blog or show me in comment section! :D

Current Home and Lock Screen

11/16/2016

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Believe it or not, I have at least 10 drafted posts in the dashboard, waiting to be published. I don't know if it's because of whatever happened nowadays, but I kept having this urge to post something lighter. It's lovely to see such, don't you think? So here you go, my current home screen and lock screen. My current phone is LG Stylus 2.

L O C K S C R E E N ; It's Jane's photo from this post! It's so good I know I just have to save and use it as my lock screen. I find that using photos of sea or beach make me feel calm instantly so I use those photos a lot. The bluer the wallpaper is, the calmer I feel.

H O M E S C R E E N ; I changed my home screen wallpaper a lot just like I change my blog's layout. In a week, I could change my wallpaper everyday. Currently it's this photo of Wendy and Joy of Red Velvet taken in Pepero Day (November 11th). It just look so cute I have to change my previous wallpaper. Somehow it fits the holiday mood, isn't it? Somewhat festive and rather Christmas-y. I feel warm just by looking at it. There's also weather widget in which I use more for the clock and 360 Security Lite booster to speed up my phone.

My to-go source for wallpaper is LINE Deco. It has good wallpaper photos from everywhere, anything you want, with size that fits your screen. It also has many widgets if you're into customizing your own phone. I like it. Other than that, I usually use wallpapers from everywhere. Blogs, sites, comics, or snaps from my daily life.

Consider yourself tagged. What's your current home screen and lock screen? Please do it in your blog or show me in comment section! :D

Photo by Jean Gerber. taken from Unsplash.com

I try to keep this blog politic-free, despite it's one of my favorite thing to discuss in the world (good luck guessing what number one is). But after what happened last Wednesday, I can't help but feel my heart sank. The election result unfolded in front of my eyes was the equivalent of someone taking all the puppies and kitties and replaced them with rows of horrible distorted pumpkin. My heart sank. I feel hopeless. A bunch of negative thoughts popped up in my head. And I'm not even American.

But you know what people say. America sneezes, and the rest of the world caught flu.

Along with change, sooner or later it will take effect. And it will effect everyone in the world, you, who read this, included. But you know what? Things aren't over. All of the good and more sane people is still here, still continue to fight. Still continue to make things right. And with other barriers being broken, rest assured we still have one hand on the wheel. Eventhough we couldn't control everything.

This is a quote that helped me getting through every dark days. Days where the negatives seem to take control. Days where nothing seem to go right. I hope you will find strength from this quote and continue to fight. “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.”

It's easy to feel hopeful on a beautiful day like today, but there will be dark days ahead of us too. There will be days where you feel all alone, and that's when hope is needed most. No matter how buried it gets, or how lost you feel, you must promise me that you will hold on to hope. Keep it alive. We have to be greater than what we suffer. My wish for you is to become hope; people need that. And even if we fail, what better way is there to live? As we look around here today, at all of the people who helped make us who we are, I know it feels like we're saying goodbye, but we will carry a piece of each other into everything that we do next, to remind us of who we are, and of who we're meant to be.


Gwen Stacey, Amazing Spider-Man 2


We're in this Together

11/11/2016


Photo by Jean Gerber. taken from Unsplash.com

I try to keep this blog politic-free, despite it's one of my favorite thing to discuss in the world (good luck guessing what number one is). But after what happened last Wednesday, I can't help but feel my heart sank. The election result unfolded in front of my eyes was the equivalent of someone taking all the puppies and kitties and replaced them with rows of horrible distorted pumpkin. My heart sank. I feel hopeless. A bunch of negative thoughts popped up in my head. And I'm not even American.

But you know what people say. America sneezes, and the rest of the world caught flu.

Along with change, sooner or later it will take effect. And it will effect everyone in the world, you, who read this, included. But you know what? Things aren't over. All of the good and more sane people is still here, still continue to fight. Still continue to make things right. And with other barriers being broken, rest assured we still have one hand on the wheel. Eventhough we couldn't control everything.

This is a quote that helped me getting through every dark days. Days where the negatives seem to take control. Days where nothing seem to go right. I hope you will find strength from this quote and continue to fight. “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.”

It's easy to feel hopeful on a beautiful day like today, but there will be dark days ahead of us too. There will be days where you feel all alone, and that's when hope is needed most. No matter how buried it gets, or how lost you feel, you must promise me that you will hold on to hope. Keep it alive. We have to be greater than what we suffer. My wish for you is to become hope; people need that. And even if we fail, what better way is there to live? As we look around here today, at all of the people who helped make us who we are, I know it feels like we're saying goodbye, but we will carry a piece of each other into everything that we do next, to remind us of who we are, and of who we're meant to be.


Gwen Stacey, Amazing Spider-Man 2



Recap. Yes. In which it became a thing for me to grumble about the month. I'm sorry. October was starting low but definitely leave on a high note. Fingers crossed it will stay for the longest of time.


Oh Oh October

10/31/2016

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Recap. Yes. In which it became a thing for me to grumble about the month. I'm sorry. October was starting low but definitely leave on a high note. Fingers crossed it will stay for the longest of time.




October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. From statistics, one of eight woman in Indonesia suffered from the cancer. Being no strange to breast cancer, I encourage you to take a minute and do a self check. Only few minutes. And if you discovered something unusual, get a proper check. As early as it gets.

Love yourself.

Do you know ribbon for the breast cancer is pink? Although the color itself mostly tied with femininity, keep in mind that male can also suffer from breast cancer. To be honest, I never have that girly "all-pink phase" in my life.  I have a number of pink clothes and stuffs but it never really was my to-go color. I always that bold, primary color kind of girl. Red, blue, green, black. Growing up, I realized I don't look good in pink makeup either so I kind of steered away from it as a choice. But it never rendered me from having some, just to test which shade of pink suits my face well. Here are my collection.


A Study in Pink

10/26/2016



October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. From statistics, one of eight woman in Indonesia suffered from the cancer. Being no strange to breast cancer, I encourage you to take a minute and do a self check. Only few minutes. And if you discovered something unusual, get a proper check. As early as it gets.

Love yourself.

Do you know ribbon for the breast cancer is pink? Although the color itself mostly tied with femininity, keep in mind that male can also suffer from breast cancer. To be honest, I never have that girly "all-pink phase" in my life.  I have a number of pink clothes and stuffs but it never really was my to-go color. I always that bold, primary color kind of girl. Red, blue, green, black. Growing up, I realized I don't look good in pink makeup either so I kind of steered away from it as a choice. But it never rendered me from having some, just to test which shade of pink suits my face well. Here are my collection.



Finally! My first ever empties! I love reading people's empties posts because they're just all sorts of trial and error. Mini reviews without being too technical yet get to the point. Without further ado, let's start.


So I Used Up Some Stuffs

10/10/2016


Finally! My first ever empties! I love reading people's empties posts because they're just all sorts of trial and error. Mini reviews without being too technical yet get to the point. Without further ado, let's start.


Short September recap because I never strongly feel related to Green Day's "Wake Me Up when September Ends" until this year. In short, my September was shitty. Like in IMDB rating of 3.6. A mix of bad luck and more disappointments. Really. I talked a bit and I just don't want to bother you with more gloomy stories so here's some good good stuffs.

September

10/07/2016

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Short September recap because I never strongly feel related to Green Day's "Wake Me Up when September Ends" until this year. In short, my September was shitty. Like in IMDB rating of 3.6. A mix of bad luck and more disappointments. Really. I talked a bit and I just don't want to bother you with more gloomy stories so here's some good good stuffs.



My childhood was summed in one sentence from a manga.

"My world is a place where all of my loved ones live. If they're not there, my world simply not exists."

My youth was me, living half a life, because my world crumbled bits by bits before it finally perishes on one fateful afternoon of September 27th, 2002.


September 27th

9/27/2016

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My childhood was summed in one sentence from a manga.

"My world is a place where all of my loved ones live. If they're not there, my world simply not exists."

My youth was me, living half a life, because my world crumbled bits by bits before it finally perishes on one fateful afternoon of September 27th, 2002.



photo by Li Yang. taken from Unsplash.com

Sometimes I wonder if adult life is supposed to be this confusing. This lonely. This lost. This hard. This sad. This tired. This painful. This uneasy. This unfulfilling. This unsatisfying.

Probably I took the wrong path?

I was thinking why I took it harder this time. I was at my down and lowest. Everything seems to go unwell and too much. Life, work, friendship, family. Everything. All is overwhelming. That's a lot to endure. And probably sounds silly to put it all in this blog because who the fuck read about personal thing, nowadays? Who treat their blog as their diary and not a space to show off? But then again, I don't want to remember as someone I'm not. I'm raw, brutally honest, outspoken, no is a no, a caution to stay away at one's loudest. I have trust issues, I hate 99% of the population. But I'm also shouting don't leave me alone. I put up walls and gates and doors but also throw away the keys to everyone.

I'm going to put those up as my intro. Yeah.

I'm sorry. For posting such negative things while everyone seem to enjoy life and here I am being as gloomy as the weather. The weather got me. Depression and anxiety got me. Every negative vibes got me. Here's a playlist. Enjoy.

Have a better day/week/month/year.

* 10-10 is police code for "fight in progress". Which is ill-fitting to my condition right now. Also I'm drowning in everything. But I still have fight in me, in which I can only do my best.
** Just a heads up: next week will be more gloomy.
*** And probably a new layout too. Sorry.
**** Being INFP and aquarius and blood type o at the same time sucks.

10-10

9/19/2016

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photo by Li Yang. taken from Unsplash.com

Sometimes I wonder if adult life is supposed to be this confusing. This lonely. This lost. This hard. This sad. This tired. This painful. This uneasy. This unfulfilling. This unsatisfying.

Probably I took the wrong path?

I was thinking why I took it harder this time. I was at my down and lowest. Everything seems to go unwell and too much. Life, work, friendship, family. Everything. All is overwhelming. That's a lot to endure. And probably sounds silly to put it all in this blog because who the fuck read about personal thing, nowadays? Who treat their blog as their diary and not a space to show off? But then again, I don't want to remember as someone I'm not. I'm raw, brutally honest, outspoken, no is a no, a caution to stay away at one's loudest. I have trust issues, I hate 99% of the population. But I'm also shouting don't leave me alone. I put up walls and gates and doors but also throw away the keys to everyone.

I'm going to put those up as my intro. Yeah.

I'm sorry. For posting such negative things while everyone seem to enjoy life and here I am being as gloomy as the weather. The weather got me. Depression and anxiety got me. Every negative vibes got me. Here's a playlist. Enjoy.

Have a better day/week/month/year.

* 10-10 is police code for "fight in progress". Which is ill-fitting to my condition right now. Also I'm drowning in everything. But I still have fight in me, in which I can only do my best.
** Just a heads up: next week will be more gloomy.
*** And probably a new layout too. Sorry.
**** Being INFP and aquarius and blood type o at the same time sucks.



To sum up August: rough. Too many high expectation to be let down, again. Warning: long post ahead.

August

9/05/2016

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To sum up August: rough. Too many high expectation to be let down, again. Warning: long post ahead.



There's always something about the entertainment industry that fascinates me. How it keeps coming with a fresh break, a better 'recycle', and all the buzz that follows. Being an entertainment lover, it's somehow appropriate enough to put on a list of my favorite things about it. Here you go.

10 Things about Me (Entertainment Edition)

8/25/2016

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There's always something about the entertainment industry that fascinates me. How it keeps coming with a fresh break, a better 'recycle', and all the buzz that follows. Being an entertainment lover, it's somehow appropriate enough to put on a list of my favorite things about it. Here you go.

http://www.tanaditya.co.vu/2016/08/lets-talk-brows.html

Let's talk about those bushy, caterpillars above your eyes, shall we?

Let's Talk Brows

8/09/2016

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http://www.tanaditya.co.vu/2016/08/lets-talk-brows.html

Let's talk about those bushy, caterpillars above your eyes, shall we?

http://www.tanaditya.co.vu/2016/08/july.html

In case you're done staring at the gorgeousness which are two postcards of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes above, please proceed to the post. I know, they're sooo distracting.

July

8/01/2016

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http://www.tanaditya.co.vu/2016/08/july.html

In case you're done staring at the gorgeousness which are two postcards of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes above, please proceed to the post. I know, they're sooo distracting.


Figured this shit gotta start or my memory will fail me. Again. Movies are not in particular order. Old and new. I tried to find all of my movie tickets (stubs?) but most of them are probably somewhere in my room if not thrown away. Look how pristine Cap tickets are #priorities

2016 Movies Reviewed, First Half

7/18/2016

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Figured this shit gotta start or my memory will fail me. Again. Movies are not in particular order. Old and new. I tried to find all of my movie tickets (stubs?) but most of them are probably somewhere in my room if not thrown away. Look how pristine Cap tickets are #priorities
http://www.tanaditya.co.vu/2016/06/june-beauty-stuffs.html

why does it take me a while to post about beauty stuff, seriously. regardless how much of a beauty enthusiast i am, to actually post anything about beauty always give me chills. mainly because of my lack of knowledge and how horrible my current skin condition right now. (not exactly horrid but the complexion kinda icked me off. nothing a good foundation a shade lighter couldn't solve) but yeah, one step at a time.

June Beauty Stuffs

6/14/2016

http://www.tanaditya.co.vu/2016/06/june-beauty-stuffs.html

why does it take me a while to post about beauty stuff, seriously. regardless how much of a beauty enthusiast i am, to actually post anything about beauty always give me chills. mainly because of my lack of knowledge and how horrible my current skin condition right now. (not exactly horrid but the complexion kinda icked me off. nothing a good foundation a shade lighter couldn't solve) but yeah, one step at a time.

may 14-15th, ennichisai little tokyo 2016
my third time coming to this lovely event. despite the massive crowd and sudden drizzle on first day, everything was what matsuri should've been. a japanese-indonesian fusion festival at least. i came alone but meeting many people on the spot. it was fun, and the food is always great.

Ennichisai Little Tokyo 2016

5/17/2016

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may 14-15th, ennichisai little tokyo 2016
my third time coming to this lovely event. despite the massive crowd and sudden drizzle on first day, everything was what matsuri should've been. a japanese-indonesian fusion festival at least. i came alone but meeting many people on the spot. it was fun, and the food is always great.

basically civil war and a lipstick. yep
april was kind of sucks. i had this horrible, horrible pms involving all kinds of headache for two weeks. got checked and the doc simply said "please refrain yourself from being too stressed out."

clearly, she never heard of adulthood and responsibilities.

April

5/09/2016

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basically civil war and a lipstick. yep
april was kind of sucks. i had this horrible, horrible pms involving all kinds of headache for two weeks. got checked and the doc simply said "please refrain yourself from being too stressed out."

clearly, she never heard of adulthood and responsibilities.

Picture courtesy of negativespace
a reminder for you to pause, breathe, and remember all the (not-so) simple things
Please read with a light heart and a cup of coffee
There's a saying that "You become an adult when you forgive your parents for loving you the way they did rather than the way you want them to."

I wish there was a handbook on how to love your parents properly. The actual correct way. Will there ever be? Is there ever any?

We love our parents in the way we want to. By kissing them in the morning before school or work. By endless and relentless or sometimes careless texts and phonecalls. By telling them you're having cold and wishing they were here to take care of us. By constant worry when you're living far from them, wondering if they're alright. By staying up late waiting for them to come home from work, along with tea and warm bath. By eating the meal they cooked until none left on the plate despite you're angry because they misplaced your favorite sock. By going to their graves every month or on their birthday. By keeping them in your prayers every night.

Maybe there will never be a correct way. So just love them. Love until there's no love to give. Love them while they're here. Love them when they're not here anymore.

Your love and compassion will get through somehow.


Simple Things: On Loving and Keep On Loving

3/29/2016

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Picture courtesy of negativespace
a reminder for you to pause, breathe, and remember all the (not-so) simple things
Please read with a light heart and a cup of coffee
There's a saying that "You become an adult when you forgive your parents for loving you the way they did rather than the way you want them to."

I wish there was a handbook on how to love your parents properly. The actual correct way. Will there ever be? Is there ever any?

We love our parents in the way we want to. By kissing them in the morning before school or work. By endless and relentless or sometimes careless texts and phonecalls. By telling them you're having cold and wishing they were here to take care of us. By constant worry when you're living far from them, wondering if they're alright. By staying up late waiting for them to come home from work, along with tea and warm bath. By eating the meal they cooked until none left on the plate despite you're angry because they misplaced your favorite sock. By going to their graves every month or on their birthday. By keeping them in your prayers every night.

Maybe there will never be a correct way. So just love them. Love until there's no love to give. Love them while they're here. Love them when they're not here anymore.

Your love and compassion will get through somehow.


a.k.a life lately and some more jumble of words
// eversince my birthday, i found myself spending more time with family. texting and calling dad more often. hanging out more with brother. it's good. eventhough i always feel the same heavy pang, i felt more at ease because they've been showing tremendous love and support as if sensing i'm being very uneasy with everything at the moment. i'm grateful for that.

// my dad still thinks that i'm 24. silly old man haha

// i have zero motivation to take any photos lately. not even selfie. why is this even happening?

// i need your help! so recently i'm doing a massive make-up cleaning and that left myself with close to nothing aside of daily bb cream, pressed powder, lipsticks, two concealers and one orange corrector. which thing i should buy to re-curate my make-up arsenal? gimme all the suggestions because i'm really a noob at this shit *cries* foundation? contour palette?

// the clusterfuck that is cheese in the trap drama!!! i can't emphasize the utter disappointment i have for it. everything just went downhill after such great early episodes. when i write this post i haven't watch the last two episodes and after reading the comments of people who watched, i don't have any plan to. #justiceforparkhaejin #justiceforjungseol so i'm saving my time until descendants of the sun and come back mister finished. judging from the first episodes they look promising though.

and for people who haven't read the webtoon, fucking read it. now.

// watched deadpool and zootopia! both have been super fun and enjoyable. can't wait for kung-fu panda 3 and batman v superman: dawn of justice! speaking of dc, i've been working on some direct-to-video animation film of dc superheroes and it reminds me why i actually dig their works so bad. twists everywhere and they're just as dark as my soul a.k.a lovelovelove em all. and this particular one have been such a highlight.

other things:
worth the read if you're just as crazy as japanese street fashion as i am. and i just found out some of my favorite stores already closed. so sad. and i haven't been to tokyo to see them before closed :(
i!! want!! everything!!
different kind of selfie (plus tips)
my desire to travel to iceland heightened after reading this and this post
stephanie's own label kestan is open for pre-order and you can win a piece of those fine fine jewelries here so go!!!!
"before committing suicide, i sent a message to my mom."
there's never enough time

there'll be full solar eclipse on wednesday. fingers crossed i can wake up early to catch that. it's also nyepi day (day of silence/isakawarsa) so it's a holiday here! yay for a day off!

wishing your march is full of amazingness in everything!

UpdateUpdateUpdate

3/07/2016

,
a.k.a life lately and some more jumble of words
// eversince my birthday, i found myself spending more time with family. texting and calling dad more often. hanging out more with brother. it's good. eventhough i always feel the same heavy pang, i felt more at ease because they've been showing tremendous love and support as if sensing i'm being very uneasy with everything at the moment. i'm grateful for that.

// my dad still thinks that i'm 24. silly old man haha

// i have zero motivation to take any photos lately. not even selfie. why is this even happening?

// i need your help! so recently i'm doing a massive make-up cleaning and that left myself with close to nothing aside of daily bb cream, pressed powder, lipsticks, two concealers and one orange corrector. which thing i should buy to re-curate my make-up arsenal? gimme all the suggestions because i'm really a noob at this shit *cries* foundation? contour palette?

// the clusterfuck that is cheese in the trap drama!!! i can't emphasize the utter disappointment i have for it. everything just went downhill after such great early episodes. when i write this post i haven't watch the last two episodes and after reading the comments of people who watched, i don't have any plan to. #justiceforparkhaejin #justiceforjungseol so i'm saving my time until descendants of the sun and come back mister finished. judging from the first episodes they look promising though.

and for people who haven't read the webtoon, fucking read it. now.

// watched deadpool and zootopia! both have been super fun and enjoyable. can't wait for kung-fu panda 3 and batman v superman: dawn of justice! speaking of dc, i've been working on some direct-to-video animation film of dc superheroes and it reminds me why i actually dig their works so bad. twists everywhere and they're just as dark as my soul a.k.a lovelovelove em all. and this particular one have been such a highlight.

other things:
worth the read if you're just as crazy as japanese street fashion as i am. and i just found out some of my favorite stores already closed. so sad. and i haven't been to tokyo to see them before closed :(
i!! want!! everything!!
different kind of selfie (plus tips)
my desire to travel to iceland heightened after reading this and this post
stephanie's own label kestan is open for pre-order and you can win a piece of those fine fine jewelries here so go!!!!
"before committing suicide, i sent a message to my mom."
there's never enough time

there'll be full solar eclipse on wednesday. fingers crossed i can wake up early to catch that. it's also nyepi day (day of silence/isakawarsa) so it's a holiday here! yay for a day off!

wishing your march is full of amazingness in everything!
on being a year older
it was days before my birthday. i wept hard, thinking i failed my dad and late mom as a good daughter, and my brother for not being such unstable-non-dependable sister, and myself for not being able to fulfill my dreams and hopes and goals. i wept again, repeating strings of "i'm sorry" until i fell asleep and my eyes are swollen the next morning.

it was weeks before my birthday. i looked at myself in the mirror and thinking of how skinny i am. how horrible my uneven skintone was. all of my scars. but then i settled to just wash my hair and put some makeup on so that i'd feel better. it did. but i still feel empty.

it was days before my birthday. i was thinking to get a cake. maybe with beer. maybe installing tinder to find any available hunk nearby. to assure that i won't spend my birthday night alone. but then my brother called and i remember to buy him burgers. at least i know who i will spend my birthday night with.

it's hours before my birthday. i'm still working. typing subtitles while thinking over the now half-empty room. my workmates have gone to better places with better salary. why am i still here? i thought to myself. it's because you haven't got your undergraduate degree. who would want a short, non-attractive girl with high school degree? i agreed. but then making mental note to work harder and get more money so i can go to college again. at least i work in job that i actually love and enjoy (no matter how shitty it can be).

it's minutes before my birthday. i'm thinking and jotting down my life goals for a better 27 year old me. i was thinking to save up and travel around the world. or be an in-house translator. i don't know. i'm writing every single goals i can think of. trying to be positive. the least i can do is to start this year in better mood.

it's my birthday. february 16th. officially 27 years old.

27. bitter. lost. lonely. hopeful.

and things are only going to be better from now on.

27

2/16/2016

,
on being a year older
it was days before my birthday. i wept hard, thinking i failed my dad and late mom as a good daughter, and my brother for not being such unstable-non-dependable sister, and myself for not being able to fulfill my dreams and hopes and goals. i wept again, repeating strings of "i'm sorry" until i fell asleep and my eyes are swollen the next morning.

it was weeks before my birthday. i looked at myself in the mirror and thinking of how skinny i am. how horrible my uneven skintone was. all of my scars. but then i settled to just wash my hair and put some makeup on so that i'd feel better. it did. but i still feel empty.

it was days before my birthday. i was thinking to get a cake. maybe with beer. maybe installing tinder to find any available hunk nearby. to assure that i won't spend my birthday night alone. but then my brother called and i remember to buy him burgers. at least i know who i will spend my birthday night with.

it's hours before my birthday. i'm still working. typing subtitles while thinking over the now half-empty room. my workmates have gone to better places with better salary. why am i still here? i thought to myself. it's because you haven't got your undergraduate degree. who would want a short, non-attractive girl with high school degree? i agreed. but then making mental note to work harder and get more money so i can go to college again. at least i work in job that i actually love and enjoy (no matter how shitty it can be).

it's minutes before my birthday. i'm thinking and jotting down my life goals for a better 27 year old me. i was thinking to save up and travel around the world. or be an in-house translator. i don't know. i'm writing every single goals i can think of. trying to be positive. the least i can do is to start this year in better mood.

it's my birthday. february 16th. officially 27 years old.

27. bitter. lost. lonely. hopeful.

and things are only going to be better from now on.

"confined by bonds; tied" definitely
the first time i went to jogjakarta (shortened to jogja) was on 2003 on junior high school farewell trip. all i remember was it was so vast and humble. not much of tall buildings. the most memorable one was riding horse carriage from alun-alun all the way to malioboro for shopping with friends. we also went to prambanan but overall everything is such a distant memory now.

fast forward to 2015. a coworker-slash-good friend of mine said she's going to hold a wedding after christmas in magelang (located at north of jogjakarta, where borobudur temple at). in a heartbeat i said i'm going to attend and asked for her help regarding my first trip out of town. few weeks later, i'm all set.

(p.s. imagine the length i'd go for a dear friend. good attitude can bring you places and opportunities, people. choose your dearest ones carefully.)

Jogjakarta Bound

2/02/2016


"confined by bonds; tied" definitely
the first time i went to jogjakarta (shortened to jogja) was on 2003 on junior high school farewell trip. all i remember was it was so vast and humble. not much of tall buildings. the most memorable one was riding horse carriage from alun-alun all the way to malioboro for shopping with friends. we also went to prambanan but overall everything is such a distant memory now.

fast forward to 2015. a coworker-slash-good friend of mine said she's going to hold a wedding after christmas in magelang (located at north of jogjakarta, where borobudur temple at). in a heartbeat i said i'm going to attend and asked for her help regarding my first trip out of town. few weeks later, i'm all set.

(p.s. imagine the length i'd go for a dear friend. good attitude can bring you places and opportunities, people. choose your dearest ones carefully.)

borobudur. revisited
i figured posting about borobudur first would make me feel less guilty about the delayed backpacking post. seriously, where the hell i've been? january passed almost too quickly.

about borobudur, i remember myself staring at the greenery from the very top of the temple, thinking, maybe the elders built borobudur for a place to gather together while looking and surrounded by everything beautiful. i wonder if the workers once stopped to soak in such overwhelmingly lovely scenery.

i'm kind of jealous now haha

we went there on sunday and it's as if tourists decided to flood this place. ugh, so much for long holidays. but most of them are okay. the queue is better now that everything is more technologically-operated. the surroundings are more preserved than when i went there on the '90s. also it's nice to see some boyscouts and girlscouts helping the tourists. all in all, it was really nice. except the super long long way to the exit. it was more tiring than the climb to the top.

Borobudur

1/21/2016

borobudur. revisited
i figured posting about borobudur first would make me feel less guilty about the delayed backpacking post. seriously, where the hell i've been? january passed almost too quickly.

about borobudur, i remember myself staring at the greenery from the very top of the temple, thinking, maybe the elders built borobudur for a place to gather together while looking and surrounded by everything beautiful. i wonder if the workers once stopped to soak in such overwhelmingly lovely scenery.

i'm kind of jealous now haha

we went there on sunday and it's as if tourists decided to flood this place. ugh, so much for long holidays. but most of them are okay. the queue is better now that everything is more technologically-operated. the surroundings are more preserved than when i went there on the '90s. also it's nice to see some boyscouts and girlscouts helping the tourists. all in all, it was really nice. except the super long long way to the exit. it was more tiring than the climb to the top.

home. far away from home
i found this lovely guesthouse from airbnb while searching for a place to stay while in jogjakarta. rates have hiked up and everything was fully booked. but there're slot for the dates i want in this place, so i asked through whatsapp. after negotiating for a while, my book was placed.

(tip for locals, ask through whatsapp/call to get cheaper rates!)

the place is what homey all about. although it lies just five minutes from the bustling tourist spot malioboro, the place was quiet, homey, and clean. the alley where it's located might look shady, but once you reached the place, it was an absolute getaway. the room was small but managed to fit for 3 people with extra bed. they also provide free breakfast with limited selection of indonesian and western cuisine. they were excellent. i also sleep peacefully every night. also the design, the design!! everything is top notch in its simplicity. jogjakarta's own modesty.

i don't take many photos because we're practically going places on 2,5 days of our stay in jogjakarta. but the photos in airbnb and instagram can give you glimpse about the place.

funny story. when i checked-in on path app, a friend commented that this place was her aunt's and her cousin was the architect. funny how coincidences met.

more of jogjakarta and trip to borobudur on next installments of how i popped my backpacker cherry!

Pawon Cokelat
Sosrowijayan Wetan
Gg. 01 No.102
Malioboro – Yogyakarta

info@pawoncokelat.com // pawoncokelat.com // airbnb


Check This Out: Pawon Cokelat

1/12/2016

,
home. far away from home
i found this lovely guesthouse from airbnb while searching for a place to stay while in jogjakarta. rates have hiked up and everything was fully booked. but there're slot for the dates i want in this place, so i asked through whatsapp. after negotiating for a while, my book was placed.

(tip for locals, ask through whatsapp/call to get cheaper rates!)

the place is what homey all about. although it lies just five minutes from the bustling tourist spot malioboro, the place was quiet, homey, and clean. the alley where it's located might look shady, but once you reached the place, it was an absolute getaway. the room was small but managed to fit for 3 people with extra bed. they also provide free breakfast with limited selection of indonesian and western cuisine. they were excellent. i also sleep peacefully every night. also the design, the design!! everything is top notch in its simplicity. jogjakarta's own modesty.

i don't take many photos because we're practically going places on 2,5 days of our stay in jogjakarta. but the photos in airbnb and instagram can give you glimpse about the place.

funny story. when i checked-in on path app, a friend commented that this place was her aunt's and her cousin was the architect. funny how coincidences met.

more of jogjakarta and trip to borobudur on next installments of how i popped my backpacker cherry!

Pawon Cokelat
Sosrowijayan Wetan
Gg. 01 No.102
Malioboro – Yogyakarta

info@pawoncokelat.com // pawoncokelat.com // airbnb


those forgotten movies i forgot to review
i did watch many movies back then in 2015 but not much of them made the cut to be reviewed here. mostly because i'm too lazy lol. so here's quick recap of them.

*in no particular order

Tomorrowland: i was fallen asleep while watching!! i don't know if it's due to the boring plot or i woke up super early to watch it. it's just not worth all the wait i've been doing since the trailer came out. it's pretty much a mess. maybe i want to rewatch it again. george clooney ended up being the only savior of the movie (because if it's not him i would've left the studio already). 7/10

The Gunman: someone please tell sean penn that his effort in trying to pull liam neeson just didn't work here. and the love story feels forced. all meat but no taste. even idris elba was pretty bland. 6/10

Forgotten Reviews of 2015

1/06/2016

those forgotten movies i forgot to review
i did watch many movies back then in 2015 but not much of them made the cut to be reviewed here. mostly because i'm too lazy lol. so here's quick recap of them.

*in no particular order

Tomorrowland: i was fallen asleep while watching!! i don't know if it's due to the boring plot or i woke up super early to watch it. it's just not worth all the wait i've been doing since the trailer came out. it's pretty much a mess. maybe i want to rewatch it again. george clooney ended up being the only savior of the movie (because if it's not him i would've left the studio already). 7/10

The Gunman: someone please tell sean penn that his effort in trying to pull liam neeson just didn't work here. and the love story feels forced. all meat but no taste. even idris elba was pretty bland. 6/10

A Wordsmith.